A typical supercommuter spends 60–90 minutes or extra a method commuting to work or faculty. As the price of dwelling continues to outpace wage progress, supercommuting is rising in reputation. In accordance with a current U.S. Census Bureau report, an estimated 5 million individuals at the moment are supercommuters—up from roughly 3.42 million in 2012.
I hate lengthy commutes. Taking the bus or driving to work was one among my prime three annoyances whereas I used to be employed.
After I retired in 2012, one of many biggest joys was by no means having to commute once more. Getting again that point, vitality, and psychological readability was a really lifestyle-enhancing good thing about retirement. Then, when the pandemic hit in 2020, thousands and thousands all over the world bought to expertise that very same freedom. Is there any marvel why it’s been so exhausting to persuade staff to return to the workplace?
On this publish, I need to spotlight the hidden toll of supercommuting to work or faculty. Positive, you’ll spend extra on gasoline for those who drive. However that’s just the start. So before you purchase a extra inexpensive dwelling in change for an extended commute, be forewarned: the trade-offs is probably not value it.
My Expertise With Supercommuting
After deciding to not pony up a small fortune for a trip rental in Honolulu, I opted for my household of 4 to stick with my mother and father for as much as 5 weeks. They’ve three free bedrooms of their five-bedroom home, and it’s a house I’ve returned to for 39 years. It feels comfy to me, however to not all.
A few of you thought this was a great way to save cash. Others—principally girls—stated it was merciless to topic my spouse to such confinement for therefore lengthy. I get it. Staying along with your in-laws for various days is lots to ask, particularly with out en suite bogs or separate kitchens and entrances. And never all people likes to be in Hawaii throughout the summer season warmth.
Nonetheless, the most affordable appropriate three-bedroom rental I might discover value $16,000 after taxes and costs. A nothing fancy four-bedroom rental, with out a pool, which we preferred, was $24,000. After proudly owning actual property since 2003, I simply can’t carry myself to spend that a lot on a short lived keep that builds no fairness.
To discover a compromise, we stayed at my aunt and uncle’s place on the North Shore—as much as 1.5 hours away—after 13 days with my mother and father, to present each my spouse and mother a break for 9 days. It gave me a break too as I might return to dwelling with out fear of doing issues in a method that will displease my mother, e.g. minimize fruit on the suitable aspect of the sink as an alternative of the left.
The youngsters had been completely satisfied wherever they had been, so everybody gained, properly, apart from me who needed to drive ~2.5 extra hours a day for 5 days.
The False Begin
We picked up our youngsters at 4:55 p.m. Friday from summer season faculty at Punahou to go to Laie for the weekend. All was properly—till six minutes in, our five-year-old daughter introduced she needed to pee. I circled and went again to highschool so she wouldn’t have to carry it.
Had we been commuting from my mother and father’ home, simply eight minutes away, I’d’ve simply saved driving. That’s one sudden value of supercommuting—having to handle bodily capabilities mid-ride. Most adults can uncomfortably maintain it for an hour or two. However youngsters? Not a lot.
We lastly arrived in Laie an hour and 25 minutes later. The youngsters napped for 35 minutes, so the journey felt like a breeze to them. Though I used to be drained, I used to be additionally excited to benefit from the freedom of getting our personal area once more.

The Monday Morning Supercommute
After a enjoyable weekend full of Pokémon Go Fest, Giovanni’s garlic shrimp, and seaside walks, actuality returned Monday morning.
I handed out by 10 p.m. Sunday after placing the children down by 9:20. I awakened at 2:45 a.m. to get a head begin on publishing a brand new publish, responding to feedback, and going for a morning stroll on the seaside.
The youngsters awakened at 6:30 a.m., and we left by 6:55 to make it to highschool by 8. Again in Honolulu, we normally go away at 7:40, so the sooner begin was a shock for my spouse and daughter, who aren’t morning individuals.
Instantly, I might inform the drive would take longer than anticipated. We had been caught behind a gasoline tanker on a single-lane highway for about 15 miles, averaging simply 32 mph as an alternative of the standard 40–45.
About 45 minutes in, I bought a textual content from my spouse thanking me for the experience and the peace and quiet. At a cease mild, I couldn’t assist replying with a GPS screenshot to point out the place we had been—7 minutes not on time. Normally, the GPS arrival time was conservative and simple to beat.
However then I made a mistake. I resumed driving whereas glancing on the screenshot I had despatched her as an alternative of the reside Apple Maps. That mind fart value us one other 11 minutes. As a substitute of arriving at 8:05 a.m., we bought to highschool at 8:16. Ugh—I hate being late.

A Place To Grasp Out Made Supercommuting Extra Manageable
At first, I assumed I’d simply hang around on the seaside or mall all day earlier than choosing the children up at 4:55 p.m. My spouse additionally wished me to select up some groceries. No downside. There was no method I used to be going to drive 1.15 hours again to Laie after drop off after which do it once more within the afternoon. I figured I’d nap within the automotive underneath a banyan tree if I needed to.
Then I remembered my mother and father’ home was solely 8 minutes farther. I might write, relaxation, and handle the renovation of an in-law unit I used to be engaged on. Having a house base made the day way more manageable. If I needed to additionally work a full-time job throughout that commute, I’d’ve been fully wiped.
In actual fact, after dropping off the children, I spent the day within the metropolis writing a publish, recording a solo podcast episode, speaking to my mother and father, grabbing lunch, and squeezing in a fast 15-minute nap.
Then I handled the handyman, swung by Entire Meals for groceries, and picked up the children at 4:55 p.m. The day flew by—and by the tip of it, the considered driving 1 hour and quarter-hour again to Laie was the very last thing I wished to do.
The Subsequent Day of Supercommuting (Good Then Unhealthy)
By the second day of supercommuting, I felt extra assured. I knew the route higher and had realized from my errors. I bought the children to highschool 10 minutes early and shaved 20 minutes off the drive. It felt like a small win. However in fact, good issues by no means final.
After I arrived at my mother and father’ home—one other 10 minutes from faculty—the plumbers had already proven up early. Then, half-hour later, the handyman arrived. In complete, I spent 9 hours managing 5 totally different staff attempting to repair up our long-neglected in-law unit. I hate reworking and swore to by no means achieve this once more. However right here I used to be, like a masochist, doing it once more whereas I used to be alleged to be on trip. If I did not lead the cost, no one would, because the place has been uncared for for over 5 years.
To take advantage of the downtime, I introduced my laptop computer outdoors and labored on a brand new publish. However with the solar blazing and temps hitting 85 levels, I used to be drained by mid-afternoon.
By 4:40 p.m., all I wished to do was lie down in an air-conditioned room and take a nap. However no such luxurious. I needed to hop again within the automotive, drive 10 minutes by means of rush hour to select up the children, then endure one other 1 hour and 10 minutes again to Laie.
My zest for all times? Gone. After 10 minutes of small speak with the children about their day, I turned on some music and simply listened like a zombie. I didn’t have the vitality to maintain the dialog going.
By the point we bought dwelling, I used to be toast—only a drained, barely grumpy dad who wished nothing greater than to relax and crack open a chilly beer.
Constructive Ideas To Intestine On By way of
Though I used to be commuting about 2.5 hours additional a day, I informed myself it was value it—for my spouse’s sanity, my mother’s peace, and even my youngsters’ resilience. Possibly the longer commute would construct their endurance and educate them the worth of waking up early.
Maybe most significantly, my spouse appreciated the hassle I put in to make her completely satisfied. Judging by her FaceTime calls from the seaside, she positively appeared extra relaxed and content material! With appreciation, I am completely satisfied to maintain on supercommuting.
As a father, you do what you’ll be able to to supply. Just a little additional effort plus some problem-solving goes a protracted strategy to making a suboptimal scenario higher. Received to assume optimistic!
Apart from, figuring out the supercommuting stint was momentary made it tolerable. My youngsters had Friday off for the 4th of July, so I solely needed to supercommute for 4 days—a complete of ~11 hours of further driving.
The Hidden Prices of Supercommuting
At first look, supercommuting would possibly look like an affordable trade-off. Save 20–60% on housing and spend an additional two hours and thirty minutes commuting a day? Possibly not so unhealthy, particularly if the median dwelling value is above $1 million.
However along with a whole lot extra in gasoline and transit prices every month, listed below are different downsides:
- Elevated danger of damage or demise – Extra time on the highway means extra publicity to accidents, particularly when driving with youngsters. I actually noticed a automotive on a residential road close to my mum or dad’s home flip upside-down as a result of it bought t-boned at an intersection. One of many automobiles did not cease on the cease signal.
- Larger stress and cortisol ranges – Unhealthy drivers, visitors jams, and highway rage add up, draining your emotional reserves for the day and night. You would possibly find yourself creating power ache, increase your stress ranges, and finally, shorten your lifespan consequently.
- Put on and tear in your car – Extra miles imply extra upkeep, particularly in case your automotive isn’t ultra-reliable. For instance, altering 4 tires on my Vary Rover sport prices $1,650, they usually solely final about 16,000 – 18,000 miles.
- Better likelihood of getting tickets – From parking errors to rushing tickets, elevated driving time raises your probabilities of infractions. In flip, your automotive insurance coverage premiums might go up.
- Decreased happiness and concord along with your vital different – Lengthy commutes drain your vitality and endurance, which suggests by the point you get dwelling, you could be extra irritable, checked out, or simply plain exhausted. Small disagreements can flare up extra simply when one or each of you’re working on fumes. Over time, the emotional toll of being bodily distant and mentally unavailable provides up.
If You Are Going To Repeatedly Supercommute
Should you plan to supercommute recurrently, two issues are crucial: a protected, dependable automotive and life insurance coverage.
My spouse and I’ve matching 20-year time period life insurance coverage insurance policies, which have supplied great peace of thoughts. I like to recommend locking in an inexpensive coverage by means of Policygenius to cowl your money owed and shield your kids till they turn into adults.
Right here in Honolulu, nevertheless, we don’t have what I’d think about a safe-enough automotive for long-term supercommuting. We’re utilizing my dad’s 1997 Toyota Avalon. Whereas it’s a nostalgic beast, it has poor acceleration for evasive driving, a wobbly axle, shaky brakes above 45 mph, no aspect curtain or rear airbags, no blind spot detectors, no sensors, and no rear digital camera. I’m not even positive the entrance airbags work—my guess is that they haven’t been changed since he purchased the automotive.
Consequently, I drive slowly and attempt to keep additional alert. The one saving grace is that the pace limits between the North Shore and Honolulu are comparatively low—35 mph on the single-lane “freeway” and 50 mph on the principle freeways. So it’s not like mainland highways the place individuals routinely push 70–85 mph.
If we return to this identical dwelling and commuting association once more, I plan to lease a brand new automotive. It’ll not solely be safer, however it’ll additionally liberate my dad to run errands throughout the week with his personal 28-year-old automotive. A win-win.
Remaining Ideas on Supercommuting
Supercommuting would possibly look like a sensible monetary transfer, particularly when housing close to work is unaffordable. However earlier than you commit, look past the financial savings. Dwelling in a smaller home or residence to save lots of time commuting is my desire .
Each hour on the highway is an hour not spent along with your family members. Each annoying drive takes a toll in your temper, focus, and well being. And each sudden delay chips away at your endurance—particularly whenever you’re juggling the calls for of household life and work.
For me, these lengthy drives had been about greater than transportation. They had been about making a tricky scenario work, even when solely briefly.
If you are going to supercommute, have a plan. Know your timeline. Perceive your causes. And ensure the trade-off is actually value it. As a result of ultimately, a less expensive dwelling isn’t value it if it leaves you drained and hating life.
The Worth of a Nicely-Positioned House
Personally, a comparable dwelling would have to be not less than 75% cheaper to justify including two additional hours of commuting every day. And even then, I’m unsure the trade-off can be well worth the toll on my time, vitality, and well-being. The time I get to spend with my youngsters after faculty is just too valuable to sacrifice.
Should you reside inside quarter-hour of each your work and your kids’s faculty, think about your self lucky. Whereas distant work surged throughout the pandemic, in-person collaboration has made a powerful comeback. Consequently, well-located properties in job-centric cities—particularly the place provide is constrained—might outperform sooner or later.
When my kids’s faculty moved in 2024, our drop-off time shrank from quarter-hour to only 8. That will not sound like a lot, however it’s been a noticeable quality-of-life improve. Now, if I must swing by faculty to drop off lunch or attend an occasion, it’s a fast and simple journey.
In fact, if I needed to commute downtown every day, the drive would stretch to round 25 minutes, or 25 minutes by MUNI, together with strolling to the station—simply past my supreme most for a piece commute. Happily, we don’t have to enter an workplace anymore. And for that, I’m particularly grateful.
Readers, are any of you supercommuters? If that’s the case, how do you make the lengthy transportation time extra bearable? Are there any sudden advantages to supercommuting past saving on housing prices or being nearer to household or a greater faculty? I might love to listen to your methods and insights.
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